Life’s not fair.
These words are spoken by the evil character Scar in the Disney classic “The Lion King” as he toys with a small mouse before preparing to eat it. As luck would have it, Scar is distracted by Zazoo, the hornbill, and the mouse manages to escape and live to see another day. Or get caught later by some other creature. Who knows? Life’s not fair.
In March of this year near Kila, outside of Kalispell, a 70-year-old male driving westbound on U.S. Highway 2 struck and killed a 13-year-old pedestrian on a Saturday afternoon. The 13-year-old was pronounced dead on the scene, but the driver sustained no injuries, according to the Montana Highway Patrol, which reported that speed was suspected to have been a factor in the fatal crash.
Life’s not fair. What are the odds you’ll be walking on the side of the road, doing nothing wrong, and all of a sudden you hear a vehicle approaching behind you at a high rate of speed. Would you be fortunate enough to react quickly to save your life, or would you be fated to die in the blink of an eye through no fault of your own?
This is an extreme case, and the particular circumstances involved are not fully discussed, but nonetheless, sometimes life just is not fair.
I imagine most of us can look back on a situation where it just seemed like life was not fair. A passed over promotion given to someone less qualified. A big expense coming out the blue that you were not prepared for. A freak accident that caused injury, expense, or worse. Life’s not fair.
We tend to look back on life at the “what ifs” and focus on the negatives that have occurred. What if I had not changed jobs? What if I had not dropped out of school to go to work? What if I had tried harder to keep that relationship going? What if [fill in your own favorite mishap] had not happened to me? Just fill in the blank.
But a broader look at life might also show some things that happened in a positive vein that were unexpected or undeserved. You felt that an interview went really badly, but you were still offered the job. You were riding your bike and just happened to notice a car off to the side, so you slowed down, and the car sped by narrowly missing you. In a longer term sense, one could look back and wonder, “After all the crazy stupid things I’ve done, how is it I’m still alive?” As I used to be fond of saying, to the frustration of a dear friend: “You win some, you lose some.”
Back at the end of April, I broke my femur. I was doing a dance move with my daughter at the wedding reception for her oldest friend, and I got a bit too tricky. To further complicate matters, it was in New York. Boy, life’s not fair. But then, I was admitted to the hospital on that Saturday, had surgery on Sunday and got a titanium rod inserted, was walking on Monday and released on Tuesday. We flew back to Montana with a free upgrade on the airline to seats with expanded leg room, and got home without incident. (Of course, I can’t speak for my wife Tammy, who had to deal with the logistics of all of this.) I’m now just over 3 months into physical therapy and improving steadily, although it’s a long haul.
I could lament that I suffered a needless injury because of a careless move, or be thankful that I got through it all quickly and am on the mend. I could lament that now I am losing six months to a year of full mobility while I heal, or be grateful that since I was physically active before the accident, a full recovery is quite likely. How might others make out in similar circumstances? Life’s not fair.
It is the nature of life that the unexpected will happen, whether we think it is fair or unfair. Sometimes we are just in the right place at the right time, other times we are in the wrong place at the wrong time.That’s the randomness of life. We can either dwell in the negative nature of despair, or look to the positive nature of hope.
There are a lot of trite phrases to describe one’s philosophy on life besides those I mentioned, above. Are you a glass half empty or glass half full person? Seize the day. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Just take it one day at a time. Accidents happen. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. And what may be the most pessimistic: Life is tough, and then you die.
I try to think that each day we wake up and greet the future, that future brings hope. Things might go wrong, but then things might go right, too. Who knows? Life may not be fair, but it is the life we have been given, and it just seems to work out better if we hope for the best, and step forward with that mindset. Each day is a gift, sometimes of joy, sometimes of sorrow, sometimes of challenge, sometimes of reward, sometimes of hurt, sometimes of healing. I can’t make life more fair or unfair, but I can approach it with hope, accepting that I have been given the opportunity to experience life as it comes, no matter what. Maybe fair, maybe not. But, hopefully, I can deal with it.
After all, hope springs eternal.
Roger Reynolds is an ordained Episcopalian deacon. He lives in Jefferson City.
