If you see your brother standing by the road
With a heavy load from the seeds he sowed
And if you see your sister falling by the way
Just stop and say, “You’re going the wrong way”
You’ve got to try a little kindness
Yes, show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
—“Try a Little Kindness,”
Bobby Austin / Curt Sapaugh
With the start of a new year, I inevitably start pondering what the next 12 months will bring. Of course, there are any number of prognosticators and pundits who are more than willing to tell me what they think will happen, but they’re usually wrong. So, I tend to look at the world around me and ask my own questions about what the future holds.
It being an election year, there will be a lot of political campaigning and posturing, topped by a race for President. The world has many unresolved conflicts. How will debates on issues like abortion and global warming play out? Will Covid come back with a vengeance?
These questions all seem to be so polarizing. Everywhere you look, there appear major divides, political, social, economic, theological, racial, gender, justice, you name it. All we hear about is how divided we are, how wrong the “other” is. It’s Us versus Them, and far be it that we should ever agree on anything.
I’m a product of the 1960s and ‘70s. And while there were a lot of protest songs of that era that just ranted about how bad things were and when was “someone” going to stand up and make a difference, I remember a few songs that inspired me to think the world could be a better place because of the good that was in each us. Like the lyric I started with, from “Try a Little Kindness,” made popular by Glen Campbell. Another favorite was “He ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother,” popularized by the Hollies:
The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where, who knows where
But I’m strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
—Bob Russell / Bobby Scott
I was always particularly moved by the bridge line:
If I’m laden at all
I’m laden with sadness
That everyone’s heart
Isn’t filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
These two songs both came out in 1969, after the fateful year of 1968 which brought us the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy and the protests and violent clashes with police over the Vietnam War at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. Like today, it seemed a time of massive, seemingly irreconcilable division. “Us versus Them.”
I think the solution then was the same as what it could be now. It’s about getting past the polarization hype and seeing things at a more personal level. Not “Us versus Them,” but “Me versus You.” When we get to that level, it’s easier to imagine “Me and You” — what we have in common, what concerns we share, where our values align. The “other” becomes an individual you have personal contact with. Suddenly, it’s just “Us.”
I like to believe most people in our communities want to be kind. When I’m in a crowded grocery store, other shoppers are more than courteous, quickly helping make way and saying, “Excuse me” or, “I’m sorry,” even when they don’t need to. All the checkers I meet are smiling and friendly, and we chat casually like old friends. I don’t know their politics. I don’t know what “Other” group they might belong to. And that doesn’t matter: It’s just two people, Me and You, and for that moment we get along.
When coming to a 4-way stop at the same time as another driver, they are usually quicker than I am to wave me on to cross first. The clerk at the Post Office always has a cheerful greeting (whether she knows who I am or not I can’t be sure, but she seems to recognize me). The FedEx delivery person gingerly stepped through the snow and ice the other day, handed me my package and commented with a smile, “You really have a nice house.”
These are all things people do not need to do, but that somehow come naturally — and in a time when a lot of other things are uncertain, just being a nice person can really help in getting through the day. Me and You. Together.
There are lots of biblical references I could toss in here. “Judge not, lest you be judged.” The Golden Rule (Do unto others ….). Jesus saying, “If you do it to the least of these, you do it to me.” But my experience indicates that for the most part, we get that teaching already. And that is reassuring. People have not forgotten what it means to be kind to each other.
What might be ahead for us in 2024? Who knows — but I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be all bad. There’s evidence enough around here that people are working together for good – building more and better child care, for example, and keeping the food bank open, and volunteering to provide emergency services.
And yes, being pleasant to each other in the grocery.
Being able to count on people being nice and considerate to each other is a big plus, no matter what happens. We should not take this for granted. Yes, people have off days and can be short (or old and crotchety once in a while, like me). Those are times when your smile and cheerful demeanor can turn someone’s bad day around, or at least make it more bearable.
“Us Versus Them” is not an inevitability. We can help move the world to “Us and Them” by acting as caring people to each other. Keep up the smiles, the kind gestures, the understanding words. Be kind, and have love for one another. It ain’t heavy — and we are strong. And we will all be better for it in 2024, and beyond.
Roger Reynolds, a Jefferson City resident, is an ordained deacon in the Episcopal Church.
