Whether a Boulder eighth grader would be allowed to deliver a graduation speech she wrote to express her thanks for the school was up in the air in the days before the ceremony.
The speech is not a typical “we have had a wonderful time as classmates and will miss our years at Boulder Elementary” message. As written, it referred to severe depression, hospitalizations, anger control, self-harming, childhood trauma and struggles to figure out sexuality.
But it was a tale of gratitude.
“If it wasn’t for this school and the people in it,” wrote Kacey Coster, “I would not have gotten the help I needed to get over this depression.”
Coster arrived at Boulder Elementary in fourth grade, her troubles already extensive.
“I was a very troubled child,” said her speech. “My last school had difficulties in understanding me and helping me to learn. It was because of this and the effects of my childhood trauma, I tended to disobey, fight, argue, and develop a wall – not letting anybody break it down.”
Despite some early rebellion at Boulder “the staff at this school kept trying to help and support me…the people at this school never gave up on me,” she wrote.
The eighth grader says she was invited by a teacher to write a speech about how the school had helped her. The original version of the speech was rejected, with Principal and Superintendent Maria Pace asking Coster’s therapist to “review speech with Kacey to edit for my review. Some topics are not appropriate for graduation speech,” according to a copy of a hand-written note provided by Coster’s father.
Even after the therapist helped Coster revise the original speech, Pace once again found it inappropriate and said the speech could not be given, said the father. The school administrator refused to be specific about what needed to be changed in the speech, he said.
At that point he came to the Monitor, asking the newspaper to look into the situation.
He said the sentiments expressed in the speech were heartfelt and sharing them was important to Kacey.
“She wants to say thank you to people and she should be able to,” he said.
“Her therapist says that getting this out is good for her,” he added.
Days before the graduation, Pace declined to answer questions about the situation, saying only, “We are working with the family to resolve the issue.”
By the time graduation rolled around on Tuesday, June 5, another meeting between school staff and Coster and her father had taken place. Four changes had been made that the father says were requested by the school, identified after the Monitor requested an appointment with Pace about the issue.
Instead of saying she had been figuring out her sexuality, the words became figuring out her identity. References to self-harming and wanting to die were changed to beginning unhealthy habits and descending into depression. A reference after that to depression was changed to severe sadness.
The father says he understands some of the changes but believes leaving some of those references as written and approved by Coster’s therapist could have been helpful not only to his daughter by also to others struggling with similar issues.
Near the end, Coster named seven staff members, including Pace, and nine classmates and wrote, “Without all you guys, I would not be here today, and I would not be this happy.”
The entire final version of the speech as provided by Coster and her father and delivered at the graduation appears above in this issue of the Monitor.
